618 Gopher Rd Season 1
by AULover618
Summary: Caitlyn Pines, grandaughter of Dipper Pines, was dragged to Gravity Falls to get a hands-on-weirdness experience. After finding a triangular statue in the forest and shaking its hand, she is taken on a whirlwind of a summer as she enlists the help of ex-demon Bill Cipher. But she just may end up teaching him a few things as she tries to hold up her end of the deal.


Caitlyn Pines stepped out of the bus with her suitcases, squinted into the sun, and sighed. She wasn't happy with the arrangements. Her mom had dragged her to this old, broken-down town so she could, what did she want again? Oh yeah. A 'hands-on weirdness experience', whatever that meant. Which means Caitlyn was stuck, with her mom, for the _whole_ summer, at Gravity Falls.

Whenever her mom talked about it, she took on a tome of wonder and excitement. She told her daughter that there were mysteries buried all over town, and mythical creatures roaming the woods. Caitlyn never told her, but she didn't believe in those tall tales. She thought they were mere bedtime stories, designed to entrance her, but mainly to put her to sleep. Yet here she was in the 'fabled' town of Gravity Falls for three months, staying in a small hut called the Mystery Shack. Caitlyn sighed again.

"Oh honey, it won't be that bad!" Caitlyn's mom, Lisa, said behind her as she too got off the bus. She waved to the driver as he pulled away from the stop, leaving Lisa and Caitlyn coughing into the exhaust. Caitlyn just rolled her eyes and started walking down the dirt road that twisted away through the woods toward the Shack. Lisa frowned worriedly as she watched her daughter stomp off to their temporary home. She knew that Caitlyn wasn't at all happy about coming here, but Lisa didn't understand why her daughter wasn't excited about the paranormal creatures waiting to be explored. They were right there! Maybe only a few feet from them! But it wasn't like she could do anything about it, unfortunately. So Lisa merely hung her head and followed in the footsteps of her daughter.

Meanwhile, Caitlyn already made it to the Shack, and she stood on the porch looking up at the dilapidated building. She groaned aloud as her gaze traveled over the patched roof, the dirt stained windows, and the broken sign advertising the business her great-great Grunkle Stanley started. She wished her adopted grandmother Melosa could've stayed in run of the Shack, but she had to go visit her son up north in Portland. Melosa inherited the building from her parents Jesus and Melody Ramirez. She kept the tacky mysteries alive, and with them as her father would say, "Children's dreams." But Caitlyn and her mother were in charge this summer. So Caitlyn sucked it up and walked through the screen door into the gift shop.

She immediately dumped her suitcases onto the floor, staring in awe at the contrasting inside. Clean, polished wooden floors shone in the sunshine slanting through the windows. There wasn't a speck of dust anywhere. All of the merchandise was organized alphabetically on the shelves, and completely fake attractions were made neatly with no loose scraps. Who knew the front would look so much worse than the inside? Caitlyn ran upstairs to the attic room she was going to be staying in, leaving her bags behind. She opened the door and grinned at the clean room. Two beds were on either side of the room, below a peculiar triangle-shaped window. The room was dusted, and the ceiling beams weren't cracked or broken. Then predictably, she remembered her things downstairs just as her mother came into the Shack with her own bags, narrowly avoiding Caitlyn's.

"Caitlyn!"

"Coming!" she called, glancing back at her new room. It definitely met her standards. Now she just needed to decorate it a bit. Caitlyn shook her head, clearing her thoughts, and thundered downstairs toward a slightly irritated Lisa.

"Caitlyn, you can't just leave your things here! Someone might trip over them, like _I_ almost did," Lisa scolded. "And why are you suddenly so cheerful?"

"The Shack looks great! It's so organized!" Caitlyn exclaimed, grin returning back full force.

Lisa seeing her daughter's improved mood, decided to let it go and encourage her to go explore the woods. "Why don't I take those for you so you can go outside?"

"Really? Thanks Mom!"

Lisa gazed fondly at her daughter as she raced outside into the trees. Then Lisa grabbed both her bags and Caitlyn's and started lugging them up the stairs. She dropped hers off first in what used to be Stanley's room. Leaving the suitcases at the end of the bed, she took her daughter's to the attic. Lisa scanned the room, understanding Caitlyn's pleasure. She was always a neat freak. Lisa then noticed the beds. She softly gasped, overcome with emotion, as she sat down on one of them. This may have been her father's bed! Or her aunt's! She frowned, remembering their disappearance.

Lisa's father-Dipper, as he liked to be known-and her aunt Mabel were two of the best archaeologists in the world. They traveled all over, exploring pyramids, pagodas, synagogues, and such. They were praised for their achievements and discoveries expressively and heaped with work offers from big companies. One might think they would become arrogant with the amount of admiration, but it wasn't so. They remained the same, kind and supportive. When coming across fellow archaeologists, Dipper and Mabel would always offer pointers and advice.

They were headed back from and Arctic adventure for Caitlyn's seventh birthday when they disappeared. Eyewitness accounts have repeated over and over that the twins were last seen boarding a helicopter provided by Gleeful Airlines, but not unloading. Gideon Gleeful has blamed himself for the loss and immediately retired to Gravity Falls, where he cut himself off from the world by hiding in a mansion built with his own two hands. He never married. His only love was gone.

Dipper's wife Jessica, was traumatized and died of grief soon after. Lisa, then twenty-two, never lost hope and believed that her father and aunt were out there somewhere. She married a nice man named Jason, had Caitlyn, divorced, but never got depressed. Caitlyn was her beacon of light.

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Lisa jumped, hand over her racing heart.

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

It was the front door! She raced downstairs, dodging the various attractions and yanked open the door.

A woman had her fist raised, about to knock once more. She was of average height, with long brown hair tied in a ponytail and hazel eyes. She was dressed in a tan police uniform, a tazer at her hip and a sheriff's badge glinting at her chest. The woman in turn took in Lisa's disheveled appearance. Her orange blouse was wrinkled and she leaned on the doorframe, as if she hasn't been standing for a while. The woman brought her hand back to her side and stepped back.

'I'm sorry for bothering you. I was curious. Melosa told me that friends would watch the Shack when she was in Portland."

Lisa blinked, and then smiled warmly. "Oh, don't worry about it! I was just taking a trip down Memory Lane for a bit is all," she chuckled.

"Good," the woman said in relief. "Oh my gosh, I didn't introduce myself! I'm didn't introduce myself! I'm Veronika Blubbs-Durland, sheriff of Gravity Falls. But you can just call me Ron," she said, sticking her hand out.

Lisa took it, shaking firmly. "And I'm Lisa Pines, temporary Mrs. Mystery."

"Nice to meet you Lisa. Say, wasn't there a girl around here before?"

"Oh! You must be talking about my daughter, Caitlyn. She can be a bit of a troublemaker, I'm afraid," Lisa answered.

Veronika smiled, lines appearing around her eyes and mouth. Lisa noticed the wrinkles. Maybe around fifty years old. She refocused on what Veronika was saying.

"No need to worry about me. I was the same way with my dads, the previous police officers."

"Dads?"

"Yeah, dads," Veronika said, narrowing her eyes. "You don't have a problem with it, do you?"

Lisa shook her head. "Not at all! I don't have anything against it, promise! I actually support it."

Veronika relaxed, grin returning. "Thanks."

"Of course."

"Cool. By the way, where _is_ your daughter?" Veronika asked, resuming the previous topic: Caitlyn.

"She went into the forest. About time to because-"

Veronika held a hand up, interrupting Lisa. "Wait, she went into the forest?" All casualness left her voice and a more wary tone entered.

Lisa nodded.

"Which way?"

"Well, just straight in, like, oh here, I'll just show you."

They exited the Shack, and Lisa directed Veronika to a spot between two pine trees, each subtly marked with a small triangle.

"She went this way. Listen, could you please tell me why…" Lisa faltered, watching Veronika's face drain of color.

"We have to go get her. Now!"

"Why?"

"I'll explain on the way. Hurry!"

With that dire message hanging in the air, Veronika gripped Lisa's wrist and dragged her into the forest, darting between the two trees.

Speaking of Caitlyn, she was busty hiking through the woods, trying to spot a glimpse of anything paranormal. But there wasn't. The longer she stayed in, the more certain she felt she was right; Gravity Falls was completely normal. After about ten minutes, she felt she came to that conclusion. To make sure, she yelled insults at the many creatures from her mom's stories.

"Manotaurs are weaklings!"

Pause.

"Unicorns are obnoxious!"

Pause.

"Gnomes will always be single!"

Satisfactory grin.

Caitlyn was right; this 'weird' town wasn't weird at all. Those bedtime stories were just stories. Now that _that_ was out of the way, she can enjoy herself. She was trekking along a small path when she first noticed the sign.

It was tucked away, decaying and rickety. It was small, too. Caitlyn knelt down to look at it, and her eyes widened at the print: YBTXOB QEB YBXPQ TFQE GRPQ LKB BVB! What the heck does that mean? T was just a bunch of gibberish. Caitlyn was about to walk away, when she noticed it was signed: C. Was that the actual initial, or switched with a different letter? Doesn't matter anyway. Caitlyn shrugged her shoulders and continued walking, but with a seed of doubt sewed in her mind.

"Wait, so an ancient stone statue holding a demon is where my daughter is going?!" Lisa yelled, dismayed.

"Yep."

"What are we going to do?"

"Hopefully get there in time so we can stop her."

The duo continued running, dodging trees, hoping that Caitlyn wouldn't shake the statue's hand.

Caitlyn slid down a ditch, scrabbling for a handhold. She hit the bottom with a _thump_ , dust billowing around her. It clung to her clothes, coloring them a light brown. She got up, wincing slightly, and studied the way back up, opposite the way she fell. It was shorter, maybe four feet at most. Caitlyn jumped, catching the top, and hauled herself up. She collapsed, breathing heavily from the exertion. She stood, brushing off the dirt, revealing the purple jacket beneath. That's when she noticed the statue.

Lisa and Veronika ran faster, after Veronika said, "We're almost there!"

It was odd, to say the least. Moss covered bits and parts, but allowed the original image to peek through. It was a one-eyed triangle, adorned with a rather tall top hat and a small bow tie. It had an arm that offered its hand, almost like the thing wanted her to take it. The statue's eye seemed to be looking right at her, too. _That_ was just creepy. But it was just stone, so she may as well and play along and shake its hand.

Caitlyn was about to grasp it when the bushes rustled to her right and Lisa and Veronika burst through, each of them panting. Caitlyn cocked her head, puzzled. Why were her mom-and a woman-here?

Lisa shook her head no at Caitlyn, too breathless to speak. Veronika recovered first.

"You must be Caitlyn," she said, straightening. "I heard a bit about you from your mom."

"Oh. Okay. And what's your name?" Caitlyn asked.

"I'm Veronika, sheriff of Gravity Falls. Now, can you please step away from the statue?"

"Why?"

"Because there's a demon in it!" Lisa yelled, heart rate normal.

Caitlyn turned toward her, unimpressed. "Look, I know that you like those stories, but I'm thirteen now, turning fourteen soon. You don't have to-"

"Stories?" Lisa interrupted, an uneasy frown sliding over her face. "Those are true."

It was Caitlyn's turn to be surprised. "Wait, what do you mean true?"

"I mean true! Those 'stories' are real! Your grandfather said-"

"That explains it. Grandpa always had an imagination that would run wild," Caitlyn replied.

"Caitlyn."

Lisa wasn't going to argue anymore. "Get away from the statue."

"But I want to shake its hand."

"No!"

Veronika had been watching the proceedings quietly, but once that statement came up she had to cut in.

"Don't do it! This is a matter of life or death!"

"'Cause there's a demon?" Caitlyn deadpanned.

"Well, uh…yes."

Caitlyn's hand deliberately moved within a hairs-breadth of the statue's.

"Caitlyn," Lisa pleaded, "Don't do this. Please."

"I'm sorry Mom, but I have to show you."

And both Caitlyn and the statue clasped hands.

Both women flinched, waiting for disaster to strike. Nothing happened.

Lisa stared down at the ground, horribly saddened. She was a fool. Everything she was taught was a lie. A lie.

"I'm sorry."

Lisa looked up at Caitlyn, meeting Caitlyn's sympathetic expression. Lisa just hung her head. She turned; ready to return to the Shack.

Caitlyn took a step to follow, only to lurch back. Her hand was stuck. She tugged harder, to no avail.

"Um, some doofus probably super-glued the triangle's hand, so can someone help me?" she called.

Veronika nodded, only to lurch back after crashing into…something. She couldn't see it. Reaching tentatively out, her hand came into contact with what seemed to be an invisible wall. It was soft, but strangely unyielding. Oh dear.

"Lisa?"

"What?" She didn't turn.

"Something's wrong…" Veronika's voice died off as she saw the statue's hand spark with a bright blue fire, consuming Caitlyn's.

"MOM!"

Caitlyn's terrified scream electrified Lisa, whirling her around to find the source of terror. Her eyes widened, shock numbing her brain as she saw her daughter yanking her arm in a futile attempt to escape. Her pure horror galvanized Lisa into action. She rushed forward, only to be caught in Veronika's fierce hug.

"What are you doing?! Let. Me. GO!" she screamed in fury, struggling wildly. Lisa broke free of Veronika's iron grip, only to smash into the wall. She recovered, and rained blows on it, sending ripples of energy over the now-evident dome surface.

Veronika regained her hold on Lisa as exhaustion overtook her. Veronika dragged her away, Lisa fighting weakly.

The fire engulfed the statue entirely, its eye glowing with an eerie light. Caitlyn collapsed, her arm at an awkward angle as she sobbed in fear. The statue looked down on her; it almost seemed smug.

It grew brighter, burning the image into the trio's eyes. Lisa stared, horrified at her daughter's limp form. Finally, the fire burned white, and then exploded into turquoise sparks. Caitlyn fell backward, free from the magic and the women ran to her, the wall gone. They shielded her from whatever remains were left.

A teenage kid lay there, unconscious. He was dressed oddly. He wore a yellow sweater vest over a crisp, white collared shirt, complete with a black bow tie. He had matching black jeans and tennis shoes. It was like tried to dress nicely, but gave up halfway. Tousled blonde hair covered his forehead, strands of hair sticking up in the back. To be honest, it looked like he decided to take a nap right then and there.

Obviously, the three females were shocked. Caitlyn, realizing that she _probably_ should've listened to her mother, gave a nervous chuckle, hoping to defuse the situation.

"He's pretty human-looking, isn't he?"


End file.
